You know you had a Catholic upbringing when somebody says “May the force be with you” and your instant reaction is to reply with “And also with you”.
Lift up your lightsabers.
We lift them up to the lord.
Let us give thanks to the Force our guide.
It is right to give the Force thanks and praise.
It’s not “bacon,” it’s a pig.
It’s not “veal,” it’s a calf.
It’s not “steak,” it’s a cow.
It’s not “meat,” it’s an animal…
its not “fruit”, its dividing cells that accumulate fructose…
it’s not delivery. it’s digiorno.
It’s not a scene, it’s a god damn arms race
It’s not “levioSA”, it’s “leviOsa”
Maybe it’s Maybelline
I remember in year 2 there was a girl who had literally never had a haircut so her hair was ridiculously long [imagine Rapunzel basically] and she always complained about it but her mum wouldn’t let her get it cut
So one day at recess she put an entire pack of chewed gum in her hair at the exact length she wanted it cut to.
She came in the next day with her hair cut how she wanted it and a smug grin on her face and I knew that that girl was going places.
i was looking through all of my old documents on my computer and i stumbled across a really long one with 25 pages and i read the wHOLE THING and when i got to the very end
i saw this
so i got excited and looked underneath my mattress but instead i found this
wow past you was a bitch